A Sass by Any Other Name....

So one of the questions I am asked most frequently is where Sass began. Sass has been my nickname for quite some time, but before we discuss that, understand there were other names also. I am going to share stories relating to the many names I have worn throughout the years. Seatbelts on for this one folks!! Here goes...

One of my favorite nicknames that started in college when my dear friend Peter Adamson gave me the title was Attitudes. I guess Peter thought I had some attitude to throw around so he quickly gave me that name and it soon spread throughout campus. It was especially interesting to the theater majors as they probably thought it was a stage name or something. Attitudes had a ring that just made people cautious when meeting me. It was kind of fun to know that before people met me, they had heard all about Attitudes. To this day, if I hear someone call Attitudes, I know they are from my distant past and I turn my head very slowly..

I am a big Saturday Night Live fan and have enjoyed many SNL nicknames. Helen Madden was one of my favorites. She was the joyologist with a high kick and a sea shell belt who also loved Donna Mills. I love it, I love it, I love it!!! Then there was Sally O Malley, the 50 year old who liked to kick... stretch... and kick!! My favorite SNL nickname of all time was Candy Sweeney from the legendary Sweeney Sisters Act. My friend Peter would play the role of Candy's sister Liz and we would memorize all of their fabulous medleys and perform them at parties on demand. We even had homemade microphones that we carried with us for such occasions!! Clang clang clang went the trolley... Ding ding ding went the bell.. Thank you!! Oh the Sweeneys were a real hit!! Love you Liz!!

My dear friend Bryant and I have also had our special nicknames through the years. I named Duff Liza right after I met him, as he had the facial features of the one and only Liza Minnelli!! Bryant quickly named me Judy Garland, even though I do not share her features. Bryant and I both loved the hit show "Arrested Development" and because the character Lucille 2 was played by Liza, you guessed it, Bryant became Lucille 2!! This also meant that my nickname became Lucille Bluth, the other Lucille on the show played by Jessica Walter!! We have thoroughly enjoyed the Lucilles and even had a drink created called the Lucille!!

Sass started when the SNL sketch about Sass came about. Everything was Sassy and if you had Sass, you would live in the Sassiest neighborhood, on the Sassiest street, in the Sassiest house. It was pointed out by some friends that I was especially Sassy, so very soon, the Sass was born. This nickname has stuck with me even longer than Attitudes by now. It has taken on a life of its own. I remember being hired back at the Buckle for like the 100th time and when my manager told the DM that she was hiring Aaron back, he didn't know who that was. This conversation went on for some time, until she finally said she was hiring back Sass and he said to definitely hire back Sass, not this Aaron person!! At one point, I almost had my name tag permanently changed to Sass. Sass, like Attitudes, creates a mystery and people are always wanting to meet this person.

There are many random nicknames that I have endured during my years. Sparrow was a nickname given to me because a show choir friend's mother wanted to know who the boy was with the skinny Sparrow legs!! That would be me!! At one point, everyone was calling everyone else Kiki and I finally said that there were too many Kiki's around, so of course I got that name too!! Because of my love of Dynasty, I have also survived the nickname of Alexis. Enough said there. I was also called Fiddlesticks by a student because he couldn't remember my name and I like to say Fiddlesticks a lot at school! And let's not forget two other nicknames that I got from my friend Peter, Sister Woman and Sorceress.

Because I love fashion and people who are famous for no particular reason, I have also received some famous nicknames. At the Buckle, I was given the nickname Paris, a la Paris Hilton for knowing about fashion, posing, and catwalk struts. We also had a Mary Kate and a Carol for the supermodels. I love the Kardashians so I was also given the nickname Kim, while my two besties are Kourtney and Khloe. In another circle of friends we have a Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie, Bruce, and finally I got Kris Jenner!! Yikes!!

I cannot discuss my nicknames without mentioning some of the classics that I have handed out to my friends. Some of those nicknames include: Banshee, Shrew, Boots, Code of Lies, Siren, Sabrina, Crabs, Kiki, Diva, Toad, Circles, Yaddle, Sins, Gypsies Tramps and Thieves, Cow Clown, Shadow, Bob, Willow, Lucy, Van De Kamps, Keisha, Candy Cane, Ivana, Char, Thorn in My Side, Daria, Juanita, Slims, Cameron, Jong E Fong Fong, and finally, Spectre!!! There is a whole nother blog right there!!!

I love a good nickname. I love to give them out to people, and I love to receive them, within reason. I know I am not hitting them all in this blog, so please feel free to comment and share more!! I would love to remember them with you all!!

Catfights, Cavier, & Couture!!

My dear friend Brian is coming over in a bit to watch episodes of my favorite show "Dynasty" and I couldn't resist writing about the show that I love!! One of my many nicknames is Alexis as in Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Colby Rowan and Brian is Princess Amanda (remember the royal wedding in the fake country Moldavia!). I grew up watching Dynasty and loved the drama, the characters, the fashion, and the shoulder pads!! Joan Collins was fantastic and "Dynasty" brought to life the classic tradition of the catfight!! So this is my dedication to the iconic show that is "Dynasty".

I didn't really start watching "Dynasty" until season two. Let's face it, was there anything great in season one!!?? Season two introduced us to the iconic character/superbitch Alexis. As she entered the courtroom in her black & white ensemble with matching over the top hat, we knew this woman would change the show forever! Alexis knew how to deal with any situation and could wear fur, big shoulder pads, skirts, and big hair like nobody's business! And not to even mention that cigarette lighter?? The lighter was like a huge crystal cube that she would pick up effortlessly to light her extra long cigarettes! The woman knew how to smoke!! Alexis knew how to bring the drama whether she was firing a shotgun to cause Krystle's miscarriage, or trying to slap her already dead husband Cecil Colby back to life on his hospital bed, or the classic Krystle/Alexis catfights!! Alexis was just a force of nature and she brought a life to the show! I have been compared to Alexis many times and take it with great reverence! No one else could be called a viper and be slapped so many times and still come out smelling like success.

Aside from Alexis, there are so many other iconic characters in the "Dynasty" world. Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) always brought class with big shoulder pads and her fabulous hairstyle with the winged bangs. Sammy Jo (Heather Locklear) always brought the trashy side to the show with her clothes and her sliding down the stair railing at the Carrington mansion only to run literally into Alexis! Then there was the classy lounge singer Dominique Deveraux (Dihan Caroll) who borught her voice and also some catfights! The gay son Stephen (Jack Coleman) always struggled with his father Blake (John Forsythe) and finally found love. Fallon Carrington (Pamela Sue Martin/Emma Sams) brought glamour and some insane plotlines like her alien abduction? and her alter ego Randall Adams. Crazy son Adam (Gordon Thomson) always brought drama as he was rather shady and the final Carrington child Amanda (Catherine Oxenburg) brought royal flair as she married a prince in a fake country called Moldavia. Then there are other family members such as Alexis' sister Caress and her cousin Sable Colby. The list goes on and on, but these characters brought many memorable storylines to the show!

Part of the glamour of "Dynasty" was the list of stars on the show. Aside from the regular characters, the show brought old Hollywood glamour in its guest stars. Such faces as Rock Hudson, Ali MacGraw, and George Hamilton came onto the show, and let's not forget the "Dynasty" spin-off series "Dynasty II: The Colbys" with such Hollywood favorites as Barbara Stanwyck, Charlton Heston, and Ricardo Montalban. The Colbys only lasted two seasons before being cancelled, but the Colbys were equally fabulous!

So now to the catfights. "Dynasty" brought the art of the catfight to a new level. Krystle and Alexis had their first catfight in the studio where Alexis lived. The fight was complete with broken furniture, slapping, and stunt doubles. The second catfight took place when Krystle shoved Alexis into the lily pond at the Carrington mansion. Blake arrived to break up the fight and Alexis left with a very wet hat! Then we come to the mud slide catfight where the ladies slide down a literal mudslide and end up in a valley mud puddle. Alexis cursed the mud on her new couture and left without a shoe! Alexis also had a catfight with Dominique that included slapping, kicking, a dog, broken furniture, and of course stunt doubles. Fallon and Sammy Jo also had a great catfight in a vat of water and Alexis and Sable had a memorable catfight in a hotel lobby. Then we come to the Krystle/Alexis catfight in the reunion special. The fight starts over a broach and soon escalates into a brawl in a fashion warehouse including broken furniture, a mannequin arm, sequins, a feather boa, ripped clothes, and of course stunt doubles! The catfights really were a highlight of the show! Episodes without catfights got lower ratings I know it!

Aside from the catfights, "Dynasty" brought the fashion. With costumes designed by Nolan Miller, each week brought fabulous ensembles. Alexis was famous for her large hats, fur, and shoulder pads. Krystle would bring festive capes, gowns, and shoulder pads. Dominique would rock the turban, fur, and shoulder pads (is there a theme here?). Other "Dynasty" staples were Daisy Dukes (Sammy Jo), fur hats (Alexis), leg warmers (Sammy Jo), hand bags (everyone), and of course GLITZ!!

"Dynasty" brought some classic storylines to the small screen so let's revisit some of them. My favorite storyline of the whole series was the Moldavian Massacre when the entire cast was gunned down by terrorists at the royal wedding of Amanda Carrington and Prince Michael of Moldavia. First of all, the country was made up and the cliffhanger ended with the cast laying in a bloody pile of bodies so we had to wait and see who survived!! It was a nailbiter!! Then there was the famous Rita plot where Krystle was kidnapped by her niece Sammy Jo and replaced with a doppleganger named Rita. The whole storyline ended in a Krystle vs. Krystle catfight in the attic of the horse ranch. Then there was the story where Fallon drove away on her wedding night and later made her way to California as Randall Adams and fell in love with Jeff Colby's cousin Miles Colby. Only later would Fallon return to Denver with Miles and start to regain her memory!! Then there is the classic character Claudia Blaisdale who starting going cuckoo crackers hearing voices of dead people and later burning down a building!! Dear Claudia. And let's not forget Caress who got out of a South American prison and travelled to Denver to write a book about her sister Alexis. So many dramatic stories that played out every week!

I grew up with "Dynasty" and was actually called Alexis in junior high. The show brought the drama and glam to the small screen every week and left us waiting for more! The Carringtons were people who were rich and glitzy, but still had to deal with life's problems. I enjoyed every week of the drama and loved to see what would happen next on the show. I will have to write another blog for this show as there is just too much to cover! And we haven't even talked about the theme song! The theme song! And the trumpets! Thanks for strolling down this memory lane with me! In the words of Dominique Deveraux, "I don't care what you say to my face, you viper. Retract this or I'll cram it down your throat!"

The Show Must Go On: My WCP Memories

As I have just accepted the job of choreographer for the Waterloo Community Playhouse's 2011 summer production of "All Shook Up", I have been a little reflective of my years working at the Playhouse. I would like to walk you through my years in the theater life there, including the ups and the downs. I will be naming specifics so this post is not for the faint of heart. Here we go!!

My first year at WCP I choreographed the show "State Fair". This classic musical follows two love stories through the days of the Iowa State Fair. Not a musical that I knew well, but it was a lot of fun to do. When I did my first WCP show I was very new to the community theater scene and the people involved in the production. My eyes were quickly opened to say the least!! As we cast the show we included personalities very fitting to the state fair, such as the Pig Clown and Cow Clown. The Pig Clown was dressed in baggy pants with suspenders and an oversized Pig head, while the Cow Clown was dressed in a pink & white gingham dress (a la Minnie Pearl) and an oversized Pig head. The Pig Clown also got to carry a festive bouquet of balloons!! The problem was the Pig Clown couldn't breath with the huge pig head on!! My first theater altercation with the head director came when the Pig Clown was complaining about the head and how she couldn't breath. I felt sympathetic towards her as she had tripped at the last rehearsal and fallen on the steps leading to the stage. I voiced a concern about the head and was immediately told by the director that it was none of my business!! I am not prepared when someone yells in my face in public in front of an entire show cast! I left the rehearsal to cool down and the director later apologized for the outburst, but he was tired of hearing about the pig head!!! Lesson learned. Mind my choreography. Got it.. "State Fair" was a great first show full of wonderful songs and dances and the first ever State Fair Singers!! If we just had higher kicks!! Oh, and let's not forget our drunk judge (drunk from saucy mincemeat) played by the iconic Val Lippert!! It's a great State Fair!

My second show at WCP was "The Sound of Music", the classic Rodgers & Hammerstein musical. The key words for the show were: pencils, Gardettos, and Mother Ass, yes Ass. Working with the same musical director and director was a great thing, but when directors disagree, things can get a little ugly. During one such disagreement, the director actually threw a container of pencils at the musical director. Backstage drama. The role of Mother Abbess was taken by a fabulous singer who we later found out really wanted the role of Maria. Now if you don't get the role that you want, either accept the role you are given with a good attitude, or don't take the role. Mother Abbess took the role, but harboured some resentment about the Maria thing. As time went on, it became clear that she was not giving 100% to the part and the singing was suffering. During a rehearsal, the musical director had had enough and proceeded to throw down her Gardettos (a la Naomi Campbell) and head to the stage. Words were exchanged and the problem was solved. I should also share that during this show the musical director and myself experienced an addiction to Gardettos. So much so that at one rehearsal we ate an entire extra big bag of Gardettos. Not realizing how many Gardettos were actually eaten, I suddenly took ill and felt like a brick was in my stomach. I had to leave the rehearsal and go home and vomit (a la Kate Moss). Not a great moment. The best part about "Sound of Music" were the kids who are now grown ups!! They were so fun to work with!!

My next show was the classic "Fiddler on the Roof" complete with the famous bottle dance! I met my dear friend Liza during "State Fair" as he played the Cow Clown, but during "Fiddler" I really got to know Liza and not just critique his frog jumps! Higher frog jumps Cow Clown!! Anyway, the bottle dance is a highlight of the show and the hope is to not drop a bottle during the dance, as they are balanced on the dancers' heads. I started by talking to the dancers about being careful with their bottles, etc... At our first rehearsal, barely five minutes into the rehearsal, I heard a crash as Liza was playing with the bottle and it crashed on the floor!! I immediately yelled for a broom and dustpan. Clean up!!! Then there was the casting of the lead role Tevya. We had three men in line for the role. Each brought something to the part so the decision was tough. However, when one of the men was not picked for the role, he proceeded to call the director and blame the casting on the musical director and the choreographer (me)! He wanted the two of us to know that we did not know what we were doing and we made the wrong choice. It got rather serious when the director had to walk us out to our cars after rehearsals for fear of our safety.. Crazy times!! One of the other potential Tevya's was also calling me after callbacks to see how things went and what the directors were thinking. I had to tell him that we could not discuss that and this phone call was not appropriate. More backstage drama!! At one point during the show I was going to murder all of the papas as they tried to change my choreography and tell me what I had written for them! Not going to happen boys!!

The next show was "Jesus Christ Superstar" by Andrew Lloyd Webber. What a fun show! On and off stage. I think this show could be dubbed the party show. The cast was out of control!! The first issue was casting the female lead Mary Magdelene. The musical director wanted the role and the musical director job also. This can be a tricky road so that was a big decision. We did cast her as Mary, which meant that we had to find a role for another WCP acting staple. Can we say...Lady..by..the..fire??? That's the other female role. Lady by the fire.. Moving on. There were also issues with costumes. The three ladies known as the Soul Girls received their costumes and looked like three Golden Girls, not Soul Girls. Black smocks with black pants. Really?? Really. Trying to change a costume at WCP was like negotiating a nuclear arms situation, so I told the girls to deal and channel both Bea Arthur and the Supremes! Good idea right?? The show was fabulous with great dancing if I do say so myself!!

My final show at WCP was the wonderful hit show "Grease". I was actually not going to do the show, but the new musical director talked me into it! I gave in and said yes. A great decision. The cast was great and we had lots of fun with this one! The show opened with the cast introducing themselves by running across the stage yelling their name. The real fun one was Jan who got Twinkies thrown up to her as she ran past the pit! The "Grease" cast also included a great Buckle friend named Angela Zimmerman. She had great stage energy and danced very well!! Unfortunately, the night the Buckle folks came to see her she was not on stage. I could not figure out where she was, but later found out that she had been on the beach all day in extreme heat and suffered heat stroke!! Poor Angela!!!

I could go on and on about my WCP years, but I truly enjoyed those years! I got to meet and work with many people who are still in my life and will probably meet some new people this summer as I make my return. Thank you all for the memories!! Leg up!!

Sass & Liza: Top Moments in Friendship

This blog has been a long time in the making and I have to warn people that it could get racy here!!! When it comes to classic friendships (LuVerne & Shirley, Lucy & Ethel, Thelma & Louise) that have endured the test of time, my friendship with Bryant Duffy is right at the top of the list!! Since the moment we became friends it was apparent we had a WOW factor and could bring it to any room. As we were driving to Des Moines on Monday, Bryant and I started to list some top moments in our years of friendship. Mind you this just covers the tip of the iceberg for us!!!

Duff and I have gone through numerous names throughout the years. When we first met I immediately referred to him as Liza, as he has a striking resemblance to Liza Minnelli!! The eyebrows, the nose, the hair! It's all there! Liza then started calling me Judy Garland, which didn't really work out as I look nothing like her. As the Sass name developed, we became "Liza and Sass". Or actually, "Sass and Liza." There. Much better. We have also been mistaken for various celebrities. Liza bared a strong resemblance to Bruno in the movie "Bruno." On a trip to the Mall of America, it was not uncommon to hear Bruno! just get shouted from somewhere. However, that changed when we got to another part of the Mall where Chaz (famous hair/skin person) was doing a live demo. The employees immediately thought Liza was Chaz, making me some other celebrity like Ellen DeGeneres or Joan Rivers I guess! That was a trip! As we both developed a liking for the hit show Arrested Development (when is the movie coming out???), Liza was of course called Lucille 2 because the real Liza portrayed that character. That made me Lucille Bluth played by the fabulous Jessica Walters! The Lucilles have enjoyed many exploits together and even have a drink named after them, which can only be made by our bartender friend Jess aka Siren!!

Liza and I have had some classic moments during our many nights out on the town. I will highlight just a few of the better ones. One evening started out at our dear friend Samuel's (Pepper's) house. Before you even guess, yes everyone has a nickname! As we were hanging at Pepper's house on the back deck, I somehow lost my balance and fell over backwards off of the deck to the ground below. There was a group gasp from the crowd, but I'm like a rubber band and was fine. We were also at Toads in Cedar Falls one night when a strange man came up to our group and accused Liza of "packing heat" in his backpack. Now if any of you know Liza, he does not exactly look like the type of person who would "pack heat". Lip gloss perhaps. Then there was the time we went out in the Twin Cities with some friends and I had to tell my friend to get up off of the bar stools that she was laying on. I finally told her that her dress was riding up and we could see her Spanx! The bartender gave me a free drink for that comment because it was the funniest thing he had heard all night! And one of my all time favorite moments was at the Cypress Lounge. Liza and I were chatting with our friends when a crazy man walked up to us and demanded we start dancing. We both said no and he demanded that we dance because he had put fifty cents in the jukebox just to see us dance. He then grabbed Liza and I called security and told him that it took a lot more than fifty cents for dancing to happen! One thing we have learned is that if there is a crazy person in the room, they will gravitate to Liza and me! It always happens!!! Bible!!!

Liza has always had a great sense of style. Liza and I have both taken our fashion risks and we have had our winners and our losers. Here are some of my favorite Liza fashion moments. Liza has always been in favor of a fitted t shirt. I have many time accused Liza of wearing a childs sized t shirt. I mean fitted!! And my favorite Liza t shirt is the deep V!! Liza showed up for a fun night in a deep V and then a rosarie necklace to boot!! It was fabulous!! And quite a conversation starter!! The talk of the night!! That's my Liza! Liza has also sported such famous looks as the turban, the bolero wrap, a half zip pullover, glitter pants, and then there's my favorite look, DRAG!!! I had the opportunity to see Liza do drag under the name of Oopsie Daisy many years ago. The outfit was stunning, but the choreography was a little sketchy. At one point Liza went for a pole jump followed by a swingaround, but on the slide down he hit his booty on a chair. Ouch!! Then after the dismount, his left stiletto got really unstable and some stumbling ensued. As an always supportive friend, I shouted "steady your stiletto!! steady your stiletto!!" I'm sure Liza could also write a whole section on my fashion dares, such as fashion scarves (which I love!!), vests, sporty kicks, and all of my hair styles!!! Enough said!!

Liza and I got to work together at the Gap before it closed in Waterloo. What fun we had there!! Liza and I would communicate via our headsets, which no one could hear. Later the headsets went just to the walkie and my walkie was always on with maximum volume!! On a famous day, my walkie clicked to life and our manager announced that she and Liza were eating donuts and drinking coffee in the office and would be out on the sales floor soon. Because my volume was maxed out everyone in the store heard it loud and clear!! Classic. Liza was also not afraid to send bossy, rude Asian women to the back of the line when they tried to cut in front of everyone else and yell prices in their face. A famous moment was the woman that Liza shouted the price at. From across the store I hear "4.25!!!". I then said in my headset that I couldn't hear him up front, thinking my sarcasm was obvious. Oh no. Liza shouts even louder "4.25!!!!!" It became our schtick to yell that price point whenever it came up on the register which was actually quite often!

I could go on forever about Sass and Liza. We have had some incredible moments in our friendship and they continue to happen!! We are two forces of nature that bring the perfect storm whenever we go somewhere. Liza was with me for the infamous episode only known as Bee. Before the Stuffed Olive was open, that building was the Cypress Lounge. We always called it the mafia bar because of the shag carpet on the floor and walls, and the candles on the tables. On one of our visits to the Cypress, I ran into the character that is Bee. Let me describe Bee in a nutshell. Built like a small man (flat butt, beer belly, mullet haircut, glasses, much like a good lesbian!). Liza sat down at our table wearing a turban and I went to order a drink. On my way back to the table I encountered Bee standing in front of me. Bee was intoxicated so I couldn't understand what she was saying, but I finally figured out that she was accusing me of stealing twenty dollars from her. She thought I picked up a $20 bill off of the floor. I tried to pass and she would not let me. People at the bar were starting to place their bets for the face off. The situation was going nowhere so my plan was to put my leg behind her and push her so she would topple over and I would then run. In her intoxicated state she would have gone down easily. Liza, however, sat and watched the whole scene unfold. Thanks Liza!! I finally passed by Bee and went to our table, even though she was shouting that I was a thief. After that night, I figured I would never see this person again. Wrong. Dead wrong. Months later some friends were hanging at the Blue Room Lounge and invited me over. I went and when the bartender showed her face, it was, guess who....Bee!!! She basically refused to serve me. Ok Drama.. Then I ran into her at Kum n Go and she proceeded to tell the manager to keep an eye on me as I have been known to steal! Drama again. I have half a mind at this point to just give her $20 so she will shut up, but I have my pride!!!

I really think that this friendship has the potential for a reality show. Liza and Sass!! Or... Sass and Liza!!! Yes, definitely Sass and Liza!! I hope you have enjoyed a little glimpse into our world. There will be more stories to come! Peace..

Two Legendary Grandmothers

With the recent passing of both of my grandmothers I would like to just reflect on what makes them both so great! This post may be a little on the serious side for me, but you will find some things to laugh about and maybe relate to your own families. So here is a little journey into the world of my grandmothers.

My Grandma Brandsgard lived to the age of 90 and during those years lived a very active and dedicated life. She was active in her church serving almost every funeral and helping with the alter guild. She also volunteered at the hospital snack bar and played cards with all of her girlfriends. She was constantly on the go and busy with family and friends, because she liked to talk (sound like anyone else you all know?). She was a hard worker who never wanted to bother anyone so she did things she shouldn't do all by herself. Grandma many times was known to be outside in a snowstorm shoveling her own snow because she couldn't wait until my parents got down to her house! A neighbor even called my mother once because the temperature was 20 below and she was outside shoveling!! She also was known to clean her own gutters on a ladder at the age of 85. My parents at one point finally took her ladder away as she kept working on it. I once attempted to hang her Christmas wreath on her garage for her and she told me to get down because the ladder was too unstable and rickety. So she proceeded to climb the ladder and hang the wreath herself!!! It was crazy, but that's who she was.

Grandma Brandsgard was also very frugal to a fault. She never wanted to spend any money and would use a dishrag until it literally fell apart before replacing it. My parents bought she and Grandpa new Christmas lights, cords, etc. one year for Christmas because all of the lights had spliced together cords with exposed electrical wiring that had been twisted together!! They were fine according to Grandma. To save on the heat bill we would always find Grandma cuddled on her recliner chair watching an Iowa Hawkeyes game with a winter coat on and a blanket! We would comment that her house was too cold, but she said it was fine while wearing the coat! I have not carried on that trait as all of my friends know!

My Grandma Hansen could be described as sassy, feisty, and in your face (also sound familiar to someone you all know?). She would say exactly what was on her mind and to whom, tact be damned! She was always the person that would say what everyone else was thinking, but didn't dare say out loud. She was very active as a nature lover and Isaac Walton Association member. She loved all things nature and had a flair for anything Western. Boots, horseshoes, horses, the whole nine yards!

Grandma Hansen had a knack for gift giving, many times giving gifts that either made no sense or were simply unknown. To name a few gems, I received a bootjack one year which I didn't even know existed. The idea is to use the bootjack to remove your cowboy boots (which I never wear!). Last year my brothers and I all received a bottle of vinegar with a book on the many uses of vinegar. Ok?? My younger brother received a car model... The next year he received the same model... And the following year... Some gifts still remain shrouded in mystery to this day!! The thought was always there, but the relevance...

I have shared so many stories of both of my Grandmothers with my friends through the years that many friends feel like they know them both very well. These women showed me an example of hard work and dedication. They were both down to earth women who were very social and were usually surrounded by friends. They both lived very active lives right up until the end. If I live to 90 I want to live just like they did! I love them both very much and will miss them in my life! Thanks for sharing a little time with me and my legendary Grandmothers!!

Countdown to Liza!!!!

So even though I have a million things to work on tonight I have to pause and just enjoy the thought of going to see the iconic American legend that is Liza Minnelli in just a few weeks!!! Liza has provided me with many fond, crazy, and hysterical memories. She is an entertainer, award winner, survivor, and an enduring celebrity for the ages.

My Liza memories began when I met my dear friend Bryant Duffy who at that time looked like Liza. Bryant had the classic Liza haircut: short and dark with points!! Bryant also had the bone structure of a younger, more fit Liza (before her days at Promises!!). Bryant's nickname instantly became Liza as he is a bit of a diva himself and a veteran of the stage!! Bryant also has the same problem that Liza has had for years (not the drugs & booze!). People like to call him Bryan with an N not Bryant with a T! Cuz Bryan with an N goes nnnn not tttt!!! Coincidence or what???

My next very fond memory of Liza was her hilarious role on Arrested Development, Lucille 2. Lucille 2 was frenemies with Lucille Bluth and started dating Lucille's son Buster after meeting him at the Daytime Desi Awards. Buster forgot to wear his glasses that fateful day and only knew Lucille 2 as a "brownish area...with points!" As Buster's mother Lucille stated, "he doesn't even know what she looks like!" Oh, and Lucille 2 also had severe vertigo! Liza was fabulous in this role and stated on Inside the Actors Studio that she even did her own stunts!

Liza's next big appearance was at the 2008 Tony Awards where she won a Tony for her special concert Liza's at the Palace. Liza came out during the opening medley singing with her signature vibrato (described by one onlooker as the car that wouldn't turn over!). Liza stayed on stage for the finale sharing the space with the cast from Hair!! Doubly fabulous!!

Liza launched a clothing line on HSN called of course, the Liza Collection!! Liza was interviewed about the collection and she stated that "clothes are our dance partners in life." As she dangles a pair of her black jazz pants Liza says, "Wanna dance?" The line includes jewelry, scarves, and various fashion pieces such as her sequins cami & jacket combo and her silk blouse with side tie. Liza's HSN appearance is classic Liza as she instructs the models how to pose and work the clothes. It's all available on Youtube for your viewing pleasure, but do remember that "fashion is passion!"

Liza made a fantastic appearance on Kathy Griffin's D List show. Liza provided acting coaching for Kathy's guest spot on Law & Order: SVU. As Liza states, "It's not the how, but the why." Liza gives Kathy her infectious & loud laugh and gets caught smoking with no ashtray in sight! In the end, Liza is a true professional and helps Kathy get prepared. Liza has also done some crazy interviews on Oprah, Larry King, and Joy Behar just to name a few. She delivers humor on her life as only Liza can do!!

So as you can see, my love affair with Liza has lasted for many years. Liza has proven to be a survivor as life throws it's punches! She has had both a hip replacement & knee surgery, but still dances! She survived growing up with the roller coaster life that was Judy Garland. She even survived that ridiculous wedding to David Guest! I can't wait until October 29th when Bryant and I will go see Liza in concert! Here's to you Liza with a Z!!!!

Why I still love Oprah!!!

Ok, so yesterday Oprah did a whole show about the upcoming documentary "Waiting for Superman". The documentary is about the current state of public education, with emphasis on all of the problems. I was upset after the show because they only featured stories and scenes that showed public education in a negative light. Only once did Oprah say that there are many good teachers and schools out there. Would it hurt to have a show featuring outstanding teachers and schools??? Let's show what wonderful things are happening in public education too! And let's not forget the role that homes and parents play in the problems of public education!!! After I was done cursing Oprah's name I sat back and remembered why I like Lady O. Oprah has given me some really memorable moments through the years and here are just some of the highlights.

I am first of all a longtime fan of all of the Oprahs. Big hair Oprah, fat Oprah, thin Oprah, shoulder pads Oprah, loud Oprah, classy Oprah, ghetto Oprah, spiritual Oprah, goddess Oprah, political Oprah, lesbian Oprah, and favorite things Oprah. I love all of the Oprahs each on their own. Oprah is truly a chameleon that changes her look and demeanor with the seasons. I will never forget the episode when Oprah wheeled out all of that fat in bags on wagons!!! Sadly, she did not stay that skinny Oprah for long and continued to yo-yo through the years. I think chunky Oprah is a much more pleasant person. Speaking on behalf of the supermodels, we are very cranky people when we are hungry!!! Oprah learned that lesson and came down from that cloud real fast!! Good girl O!!! I also love classy vs. ghetto Oprah. She will start a statement super classy and then immediately turn it into "you know what I mean girlfriends??" It's fabulous!!!

Another reason I love Oprah are those Favorite Things episodes. First of all, it doesn't even matter what she is giving away, the crowd goes buck wild!!!! My favorite cookieeeeeeeeees!!!! (Wild crowd noise!!!!) Or my favorite muffin paaaaaaaaaaan!!!! (Insanity!!). Her best giveaways were probably the car and the diamond necklace (I think someone actually fainted this time!!! And some woman kept yelling "Thank you Jesus, I mean Oprah!!!) I truly wonder how many of those products have sold because they were Oprah's favorite things!! I admit buying a book because it was her BOOK CLUB SELECTIONNNNNNN!!!!!!! What power this woman has??!!

I love Oprah because she's not afraid of anything!! She has interviewed sex offenders when she was herself abused as a child. She has interviewed Ku Klux Clan members and racists as a black woman. She moved her whole show to Texas while being sued by beef producers (though that may have been a publicity stunt that worked!!). She has never been afraid to tackle any issue or bring on anyone controversial. Props for that Oprah!!

My favorite reason for loving Oprah, which has given me hours of enjoyment is........wait for it.......you know what it is..........the Oprah VOICE!!!!!!!! Can anyone shout out a word like Lady O!!?? Never!! JOHN TRAVOLTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! There will be lots of caps and exclamation points in this paragraph FYI. I think I first heard the voice on a favorite things episode when Oprah gave out her favorite SWEATERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! It was an instant love affair for me!! I was hooked. TOM CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUISE!!!!! WHITNEY HOUSTONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! Only Oprah could lend that voice to a book title and bring it so much energy like last week's FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! I have no idea what possessed her to use that overly loud, dramatic voice for the first time (maybe her acid reflux was acting up, or better yet, it was Gayle's idea!!), but I LOVE IT!!!!!

So, some final thoughts. I have enjoyed my many faces of Oprah through the years and will miss her when her show is done. My one regret is that I never become her friend, because they all get shows (Dr. Phil, Gayle King, Rachel Ray, Nate Berkus). Oh well, maybe I can just get a job at her school in Africa!! In the words of the incredible Oprah Winfrey, "words are energy!" Tootles everyone!