That's Not My Name!!

As I posted on faceplace earlier, my week started off with the usual bang. I drove to Coralville on Sunday to pick up handchimes as part of my duties on the state handbell committee. I stopped into the Banana Republic store to say hi to one of my oldest and dearest friends, Liza. Liza (Bryant) is also known as Lucille 2 for you Arrested Development fans. That makes me Lucille Bluth!! Anyway, Liza was not working so I asked the manager to just tell him that Aaron, or Sass, stopped by to say hello. Liza called me on Monday to follow up and it went like this. The manager told Liza that a friend had stopped in named Sally??? Sally?? Who's Sally?? Liza said he had no friends named Sally and she insisted that was my name. Liza asked her to describe the mystery person and she said he was short, blonde, and had a real "swish" to his walk. Liza immediately said, "Oh, Sass!" In all my years on this earth I've never been told my walk had a "swish". Whatever Banana Republic manager. I do feel very akin to that hit song by the Ting Ting's "That's Not My Name." They call me Sally, they call me Jane. That's not my name...... You get the picture.

Speaking of names, let me just share some great, classic moments involving my name. One of my favorite words to use at school is fiddlesticks. I use it in place of other words we cannot use at school even though we want to badly. It's a great fill in word!! Anywhoo, a student came to school one day and I was at my other building. He proceeded to ask the band director "Where is Fiddlesticks?? Is Fiddlesticks here??" The band director responded saying she didn't know who that was. He said, that crazy music teacher and all was solved. Fiddlesticks!! I do, however, enjoy my young students who cannot always pronounce full words correctly and call me Mr. Handsome at school! I'll take it wherever I can get it!!

After many years of dedicated service at The Buckle, my name has also been an issue there as well! One of my favorite customers at the store is an older gentleman named Rex. Rex and I go way back as he used to come visit me at Hy-Vee in college and many times bring me "gifts" like a half-eaten candy bar, or a soda that has been refilled!! I know, gross!! Needless to say, I always had to throw his "gifts" away!! Rex has a classic look, usually a t shirt, long denim shorts, black socks pulled up to his mid-calf, and big shoes. Rex also walks with a slight limp so you can spot him a mile away! In all the years I've known Rex, he still calls me Eric, even though in all of my many jobs I've always worn a nametag that clearly says Aaron!! People just don't care!! They're going to do whatever they want to do.. Then there is our Buckle district manager PAT WRIGHT, who didn't know my real name for almost 7 years!! I was hired back as seasonal help (no comments are necessary!) and the manager, Angela told PAT WRIGHT that she had hired Aaron back to the store and he responded who?? Angela proceeded to say my name again, try to describe me, and so on.. No luck, PAT WRIGHT did not know who I was. Angela finally said she was hiring Sass back as seasonal and PAT WRIGHT said "Oh yes, definitely hire Sass back. I don't know about this Aaron person." Ding Dong!! That's my name!! They call me girl.. That's not my name.. I really like that song. By the way, I type PAT WRIGHT's name in all caps because when you call his Buckle voicemail, his name is yelled at a very loud level compared to the rest of the recorded message. You know what I'm talking about. It says, "you have reached the voicemail of PAT WRIGHT!" It's really obnoxious, but it happens.

I have also been mistakenly called Spaz, amongst other things that I will not get into at this point. And then if we want to go way old school, there's always Attitudes. That goes all the way back to my college days. I still hear it now and again and it literally stops me in my tracks!! So, I'm sort of rambling today, but it really is all in the name. Sass.. Kiki.. Attitudes.. Kim.. Paris.. Sorceress.. Lucille.. Steel Princess.. Alexis.. You can see, I answer to many callings.. Tootles!!